Video: You Don’t Know Poik


Lamest title ever, this was also part of the Summer 2002 Graduation video medley I put together so it was pretty rushed, even though this was the only one I went back to and finished later.. I honestly couldn’t come up with anything else :P

“You Don’t Know Jack” (YDKJ) is a PC quiz game. It’s a huge game series in America, spanning so many different topics with addon packs and the like. I’m not going to voice an opinion on the US games *coughcoughcrapcough* because this may provoke a war.

However the UK edition (little spoken about and sadly the only UK iteration) is a true work of art. Brilliant atmosphere, stylish, truly sharp humour and wit and it has had many grown men on their knees trying to catch their breath from laughter.

After a heavy session of proving how truly poor we are at such a satirical quiz game, and failing to get onto the high score board, again, the game (as always) played a set of joke adverts while the credits rolled. One of these adverts caught us off-guard, “John Target – The Movie”. It took us many hours playing the game before the advert popped up again and we were able to cunningly snatch it from the game. We are missing the first few seconds, however. Think any random Arnie film and you get the idea. The clip itself is a parody, obviously, but without visuals. I decided I should add some.

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Video: Particle Monkey


We liked the song, I strung a video along to it. That’s about as deep a story as there is.

Largely it involves Allan recieving beatings and humiliation, we have no problem with this.

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Video: The Frightened Fresher


Jeez, where to even begin explaining this one. This is like meta-meta-meta-injokes all upons.

One random uneventful day we randomly came into contact with a bizarre flash animation named “The Frightened Boy”. After the first viewing, we were shocked at how totally messed up it was (watch it and you’ll know what I mean). We said jokingly “This is the reason people should be banned from using Flash”, every time somebody visited the house, we would show them the animation, they would blink, twitch and usually run screaming. We quickly came to realise what a work of art it was and became die-hard fans of Joel Veitch (creator, and also the crab of ineffable wisdom).

Hot on the heels of “The Frightened Boy” came “Blode”. Again, strange, cheap, but contained buckets of style.

This video was created for our University Graduation day. It includes pictures most of the people we met over the years, horribly disfigured to fit into masks cut from the Blode animations. It was made as a big injoke as well as a bit of a general knowing shout to everyone we knew. However, while it is largely an injoke, it’s still kinda fun to watch. Careful for motion sickness though.

In the background of the video is a super fast walk around the entire UKC campus, in the corner is a funky map showing your current position. The music will be instantly familiar after watching the originals above.

If you don’t watch the original animations this video will make no sense whatsoever and will look like the work of a madman. (Not that being a madman is a bad thing, or that the video will make much sense either way..)

The Frightened Boy
Blode
Blode 2

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Video: The Monkeytrix


Sadly this piece still remains unfinished, and large gaps are pretty evident. This is a classic example of what befalls every music video creator.. “Great idea, but did you think further than the intro?” — Admittedly I actually did, I just thought I had more footage than I did.

It’s clear to see what this was intended to be, some of the effects and clips are only there as rough examples and things I was toying with before running out of time. This was intended to be part of the great Graduation presentation, but had to be dropped due to, well, running out of time juggling the other videos around.

At any rate, the introduction scenes are still entertaining which is why I still let it exist until I find more clips to fill it with. Who needs to dodge bullets when you can dodge watercannons?

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Video: The 42h Ninja


Required reading for the visitors to this site is the Official Ninja Homepage, which extols the virtues of ninjas and tells of how they are “totally sweet”. Part of the site relates tales of ninjas in action; one of these in particular caught our attention: “I heard there was this ninja eating in a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town.”

We decided that in true monkey style, a re-enactment was in order. In the space of a few hours, we filmed the scenes and I edited the sequence together.

Our lack of planning is fairly evident in some scenes (including the most miserable-looking bunch of monkeys ever to get together and eat pizza), although this video features one of our few attempts at implementing non-digital special effects – mmm, tomatoes!

This is one of the few films we made with an actual plan in mind, but it’s easy to see how even such a short clip can take quite a bit of effort. In spite of this, we had a lot of fun making it, and feel that it shows in the finished article.

’42h’ relates to the household we lived in at the time, using the typical Canterburian geek-house naming scheme, in case you were wondering.

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Video: Nertcel Saga


An evening after watching some Excel Saga, and wanting to try out some masking effects and shiz, yields this sort of rubbish!

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Video: Blean Witch Project


Okay so I’m trying to make a complete archive here so I’m getting all the reeeeally crappy videos out of the way first so they appear lower on the page :P

It was spring 2000 and we were trying to do some location shooting for (dare I utter it) “The Planned Movie”. So 3 of us wandered into the deep dark depths of the forest with only a camera and our own sense of direction. Needless to say, we only had the camera.

It was a great trip into the forest; we found a cleaning with loads of cut trees and had some epic fights with giant great big sticks. There were some nasty accidents and words were said that needed to be said given the pain and damage just inflicted (but I digress). We got lost and couldn’t find our way back. This combined with exhaustion, sleep deprivation and hunger made us start acting out strange scenes from the “Blair Witch Project” (recently released).

By some superb fluke we managed to totally improvise a classic spoof documentary. Some Attenborough-style commentaries accompanying Allan’s natural monkeying about completely unaware of what’s being said make this a classic.

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