Gallery begone!

/gallery/ is dead, long live /photos!

it is gone but has come back out of chrysalis as something else.

Soo, here goes.  ManyLemons relaunch! ..again!

Remember how much banging my head against Smarty theme templates to get Gallery2 to look pretty and less of a clusterbomb?  No? I guess it wasn’t a thrilling story, well, just pretend you do.

So yeah you totally remember that. Well, double that.  That’s me and WordPress right here.   Getting it up and running was more or less a doddle and it’s certainly way more polished than I expected, although it does treat situations where you have an account on your webhost but you are not root, as ALIEN and IMPOSSIBLE. Sigh.

Some PHP hackery later and that’s sorted.

So I pick a suitably yellowish theme, even labelled as lemon themed, and went.. eh it’ll do.

No…

IT WILL NOT DO.

A habit everyone else seems to notice way before I did that I have is I like to customize things, it’s not mine if it’s as standard as it comes, or hasn’t been hacked or bodged in some way only someone like me would want it to be XD

So out goes most of the original theme and in with new bits and pieces, all new images and crap, and all is lemony..

“Psst.” says WordPress

“Software shouldn’t be able to speak.. well, okay, some can but I don’t recall seeing it on your list of capabilities.”

“I see you have a gallery.”

“That I do, how unexpectedly observant of you.  Bordering on creepy, in fact.”

“Let me take a look? Just install this plugin yeah? I promise I’ll be all pretty and stuff.. Bows and ribbons and all.”

“I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong.”

EVERYTHING IS BROKEN

OH MY GOD

IF ONES AND ZEROS COULD BE ON FIRE, THEN THIS WOULD BE ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHEN THEY WERE

For inexplicable reasons WP (more accurately WPG2 but let’s conveniently ignore the separation for a while) decided to reach into G2, turn off URL rewrites (the part that makes linking stuff easy and not MURDEROUSLY HARD), botch everything, disable my gallery entirely by accident in another way, and generally go THIS IS MY WEBSITE NOW HA HA HA, ALSO IT IS NOW BROKEN, YOU ARE WELCOME

At this stage it’s usually time to wade in there with a metaphorical scythe and prise the system back from the megalomaniacal software.. This is how my mind works, you take a metaphorical bladed weapon to gently metaphorically separate things which are metaphorically on fire.  I know what I’m doing, honest. Metaphorically.

Halfway through said levering, some things pinged into place and worked.. quite nicely?  Hm.

Bit more tweaking and I say what the hell, it’s already this broken..

“OKAY WORDPRESS, TRY ABSORBING THE GALLERY, I DARE YOU”

“DONE DEAL”

*vfwop*

Vfwop is now the official sound effect for when web software sucks other web software into itself.  It’s then closely followed by HUKSPLUDGE which is the noise CSS makes when it explodes due to two completely different sets of style sheets colliding at high velocity.

Unsurprisingly the CSS has made a mess, but.. much like a barely furnished but foundationally intact building, THIS COULD BECOME SOMETHING!

I’ll cut the rest short, mostly it was me screaming at mystically stacked CSS sheets randomly introducing things which would, well, cascade. Much use of FireBug and head desking was gone through.  Fix one thing, break another, some minor thing will keep waving HELLO at you until you MUST FIX IT, etc etc. Seriously, who makes it so italics are ALWAYS bold *and* bold text can never be italic?

Now 2am ticks around after day..  3? 4?  I dunno.  However, it is.. well, not really complete but it’s workable, that’ll do.

So what’s all this new shiz I pretend to hear you ask.

WELL LET ME TELL YOU:

GONE is the old site. 2003 that thing was written, and none of us knew crap-all about html design back then.

BACK are the videos and AMVs!  Or rather, they will be when I add entries for them all.  Basically they’re not hidden in some background 8-year-old lemon-peel-skin-textured monstrosity with animated GIFs of my face on (yeah, cheers guys :P)

GONE is /gallery/, NO MORE does it function, now it’s got 301 redirects all up the face.

NEW is /photos/, which is wpg2 being sneaky and taking over and basically functions largely the same but with the pretty, I would’ve put this in place of /gallery/ but that would break many, many things.

MOVED is /nertcam/ now it’s in the root instead of under /gallery/ thus shorter urls, yay

GONE is the old stylesheet design for the gallery, none of this WHITE and then GREY and then KIND OF LAVENDER and then BLACK LIKE MY SOUL depending on what page you’re on, no more whining about having to code crap by hand, I GET RIGHT IN THERE AND RIP IT OUT.  So, so manly.

NEW is a whole site redesign, all pale yellow to be lemony but simple and not sickening (hopefully) and better yet the design sticks, be it in this ‘ere blogging WP thing, or in the gallery side of things.. IT IS ONE AND THE SAME NOW

QUESTIONABLY AWESOME is automated LJ crossposting and updating and crap, because I refuse to abandon the eljay, the friend-only filter rantspace is a godsend for my sanity :P

AWESOME is the fact I actually finally have something I can call a website.. sure it’s majorly two standard components smushed together but it’s MY smushing, and I intend to continue customising it up the wazoo.

SUCKY is that I’ll have to actually write a proper About page now :P

AWESOME is that I can shove more or less anything on this now, not just photos or just videos.. It’s magical.

I HAVE A 404 PAGE YOU GUYS, okay nothing was really preventing me before but Gallery2 didn’t like it if I made my own, but now.. NOW AHAHAHAA …. now I’m out of ideas.  So it’s a big 404 image.  I’ll.. do something with it at some point.

FUNKY is some code hidden in the 404 page, since my main worry whenever smacking my website up the head is that I’ll break some moronically complicated links from yesteryear that people may have, and what was once HEY LOOK AT THIS PICTURE now just leads to a main page or 404..  I’ve painstakingly 301’d a lot of stuff but now I have THE POWER to go one tiny step futher!

BEHOLD!  A broken link and a broken link that looks like it was trying to get to a particular image!  I’m stupidly proud of that really basic bit of code.  Basically anything that looks like a NertCam number it prompts to search the Gallery for, no matter where it’s moved to.

POINTLESS is a bunch of automatic translation buttons, but hey..

There’s probably other cool stuff but that can wait until it leaps out at me with broken CSS another time.

tl;dr have made manylemons look prettier, opinions?  Also please tell me if anything is broken, including old links.  Comments can go here or LJ, it matters not!

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